Wednesday, October 18, 2006 @8:57 AM
i seriously do not know!am i happy or not?i'm suppose to be thou as Ns is over.but the feeling is not right at all.cos i felt that it wasnt my best for my english.i knew i could do better if i didnt fall asleep.i seriously hate myself for that.i know i should stop thinking abt it but i cant help it when ms poh asked this in class:who feels that you will be back next year?i knew i was not confident abt it at all.why do things always happen like that?why people jus like to pass message they heard to others and assume that way?i'm not alright.i'm seriously affected abt by all this comments like that alright?cos i don like it.i know it was to let me know but i really don like it.and when i'm affcted its cos i really treasure you as my friend.i have always treasure everyone that's around me.all the love ones.but somehow they jus donno and start hurting me.do i really deserve all this?i donno why.but i really got very sadden everytime i think abt it.i'm not happy alright.i know i should be counted very blessed already.i should be counting my blessings.but i am really upset abt it.but sometimes..i jus hold back.i don wan anyone of you to be affected.who really knows?i really donno.everyone's life is different.everyone has got their individual problems.sometimes..you will ask your friend to try living in your world,sometimes,its good but sometimes its bad.in everyhing,there's always good and bad.i really wish there will be someone standing in my point of perspective to think.who actually is the guardian angel of mine?sometimes i really wonder how does it really felt like!HELP!!!i'm screaming...can anyone hear me?probably be running away from me.being loud isnt my fault.anyways...this isnt a very nice post though.but jus felt that i wanna write it out.it helps better.so much.or else everything will be in the bottle of my heart till it accumulates to it's brim.i can no longer take it till i really break down and cry.and i really hate it.i don like seeing myself crying in front of people.i feel so embarassing.but somehow,even a little thing i can cry till so badly.my eyes jus cant hold back its tear.and after that thinking abt all the things that happened.i really donno!TO MS SHEN:REALLY THANKS FOR THAT DAY!IT HELPS ALOT BUT STILL, ITS HARD FOR ME!AND TO ALL MY FRIENDS:I'M TOTALLY NOT ADDICTED TO CLUBBING ALRIGHT!JUS A LET DOWN PARTY FOR ME!SO STOP WADEVER YOU'RE THINK!YAR?
