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Sunday, October 29, 2006 @8:42 AM

It can be very difficult to accept things as they are ... there is such a strong feeling deep inside of you that wishes things were different. But things are what they are, and you should not waste any more time trying to make someone else change they way they feel. If you can move past this today, you will feel freer faster. Your independence is of key importance right now, and you are going to want to be unencumbered by emotional dramas. Relish this imperfect situation. It is a gift.

i guess it seriously talk abt the friendship between us!

@7:46 AM

went to sentosa on friday!woke up with a jump thinking that i was gonna be late as i woke up late.but i was somehow one of the earlier one.anyways..weather was great.company was fun too.jus that the sea wasnt nice.l0ls.there were jellyfish stinking you when you're in the water.and it can get really painful.l0ls.anyhow..met ah kong there.and he's gonna have his 0 level mt paper so he said he cannot suffer from sunsik,so he borrowed sunblock lotion from me.l0ls.as i din wanna get myself all burnt like the last time i went.it was really hot.was supposed to meet phanida at vivo so i went to get changed and bathe.and guess wad>?the min she said something cropped up.she could only meet me later.so i guess it was only a short period of time.but i waited till i slept on the beach with my army pants.i was sweating like a pig man.ms shen popped by..she was talking abt her lives and was telling us abt it.she was jus like us.a friend to us.l0ls.fifi,amanda lee and belinda started playing volley ball.so i couldnt take it and changed back to my fbt and play.l0ls.it was kinda of embarassing cos i somehow changed behind some ahlibaba.l0ls.with the help of exther and dianne babes.l0ls.anyways..i lost my second earring there.and i wouldnt know where izzit.so i was kinda of pissed off.cos it was a gift from mum.anyhow..i called phanida when she was supposed to get back to me when she's convenient.but she said den that she was still unconvenient.and guess where she was?YIO CHU KANG!i shoud have all along guess that she was with him.and i asked if she was still gonna meet me,she was like ya,cos she needs to pass me her shoes.so i was like alright.den meet me later.i mean the date that were planned jus for the 2 of us always don happen.and guessed wad.she said her mum said that she had to be home by 7.30 but i was like so late already,how are you gonna meet me.she said she got no choice and later said that the time said was given by her little devil.like wad the hell man.and she said that she told her mum that she was with him already.so i was like okay den since your mum agreed cos i don wanna let your mum tink that i lead you to stray.and that you get grounded and stuff cos of me.well,,cos i will not want bcos of me,you suffer all this punishment.it's not worth it.so since she said everything was clarified i called zara and met her later at bugis.well..its really been a long time since i last had money to shop and buy stuff.so here was the shopping spree for me.l0ls.with $101 i got myself with:
1.a top with an accessory.
2.a jeans skirt
3.a bottom
4.a wallet
5.3 pairs of earrings.
6.a pair of shoes
7.a bag.
l0ls.it was till i received calls from auntie jackie saying that phanida din even clarify things with her and receiving a sms from her little devil:FUCK YOU LAH SANDRA!WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE AH!
i was like wth!!!wad in the world did i do?your caused all this shit for yourselves man.and right from the start i ask you already.so yeah..i mean if you really wanna blame den thats yourselves!

it was sat!woke up late as usual.for me it was confirmed that i had no problem going till i recive calls from zara saying abt michelee's uncertainty.kinda of liek pissed off cos she gave people false hope and stuff.one min say can go and the next min saying she cant go.and put the blame on zara cos they have been going late.and she knows it herself that if she din go out so much with zara she could have go.so i was like wth!anyways...was worried abt phanida.cos she din picked any of my calls so i tried again.but this time i really donno wad words to decribe my feelings.i donno . i'm angry,sad,disappointed yet at the same time felt helpless and real devastated.and all the more i wanted to club till i found out the last min that it wasnt underage.i was really shocked and din know wad to do.anyhow..still make our way there thou.met up eith zara and lance.zara lost one side of her contacts.she was considered paritally blind.anyways..went there,there were like so little peeps.joy,bay and van met us later.they were going to booze and asked if we wanna join them.so me and zara was like anything.so we went with them to get real emo.and when i'm emo,it can really get out of hand.anyhow..we went to get drinks from marina 7-11.van got it for us.drank jim bean,volka and bacardi.den went to the merlion to relax ourselves.and we played truth or dare.l0ls.it was really fun.i guess i was happier with them den going with zara alone to party.anyways..shared cab.drop joy off den me and zara.went to hang around at the 7-11.den we got really hungry so we went to get food.instant noodles of cos.treated zara cos she got no cash.so yeah.bought chips too.den we played music really loudly.and was talking alot.den i got zara to ask some of the guys that were near us to get drinks for us.so got jim bean again.and zara got her blue volka which was really tasted like sweetened drinks.stayed till like 3 plus den i went over to her place to sleep.stay up till like 5 plus den went to sleep.l0ls.

the next morning.was late for work.but not very lah.soiguess it was alright!it's my last day!haha.work was alright today.wanted to go over chloe's place during the break but decided not to till i called joy.as it has been long since i watched a movie so i called joy if she wanted to watch.so she was like wad movie den i was like the prestige>?den she said wad abt the guardian?den i was like anything.i donno.but she had no cash too.and since i was gonna get pay,i offered the treat to the movie.l0ls.she checked out the time and met at 3 but she was late.and my phone was gone case.it was off the whole day.as battery died on me.so yeah.used the public phone to call her.haha.met her at the cinema and bought tix.at that we were already a bit late for the movie so she wanted to rush after the purchase but i was like i wanna get a drink so yeah.there werent anyone standing there to tear your tix so we went in without them knowing and tearing of the tix.anyways..the show was good.so good.cried though!l0ls.
THE GUARDIAN:
>>>>>>After losing his crew in a fatal crash, legendary Rescue Swimmer, Ben Randall (KEVIN COSTNER), is sent to teach at "A" School, an elite training program for Coast Guard Rescue Swimmers. Wrestling with the loss of his crew members, he throws himself into teaching, turning the program upside down with his unorthodox training methods.
While there, he encounters a young, cocky swim champ, Jake Fischer (ASHTON KUTCHER), who is driven to be the best. During training, Randall helps mold Jake’s character, combining his raw talent with the heart and dedication required of a Rescue Swimmer.
Upon graduation, Jake follows Randall to Kodiak, Alaska, where they face the inherent dangers of the Bering Sea.
In his initial solo rescue, Jake learns firsthand from Randall, the true meaning of heroism and sacrifice, echoing the Swimmer’s motto..."So Others May Live!" this was taken from joy's blog.too lazy.heee...anyways..this is taken from the primary source which is the movie itself.
"he is the one who lies beneath water living the people left in the sea a hope,he id the GUARDIAN"!
mann..i donno how school is gonna be like.but yeah.i'm jus gonna move on.since you have hurt me so.gonna get my camy and mp3 tomorrow!excited excited!gonna find new jobs soon!hee..

to me,it's impossible.all i know you are mad abt her.so i guess time will heal the passion i have for you!l0ve to all peeps who cares for me but even if you don i will still love you'll!nights.OUT!!!

Thursday, October 26, 2006 @10:17 AM

heard this on the radio;2 days back i guess.it says:
never give up on the love concept.so i guess love is indeed too great, powerful and overwhelming.never gives up on the love concept unless its not one waiting for!

quoted from some thoughts:
save me from this love agony.the feeling starts to get real bad and weird.not that i want to.

taken from a book:
teo are better than one.because they have a good return for their work...a cord of three strands is of quickly broken.

his character are decribed with such tenderness,one can barely bring oneself to close the book.

its jus some food for thought.being random!

@10:05 AM

its 1 am.i jus changed my blogskin.there are like so many.cant decide.but din really be bother abt it any longer and chose this.its not that bad rite.l0ls.the tagboard thing got some problem the cbox xompany seems to have close.anyways..don really have the mood to blog but still did so.well...today.nth much happen.had bio test and chinese test.woah..and it was together.both 3 period join together.l0ls.skipped lunch today.as i din felt hungry at all.went to adam foodcourt and wasnt tempted by any of the food.in fact got disgusted by it.cos there was a really foul smell that almost make me puke.anyways..deanna bought a sugar cane and we walked back to serene.bought the mag 17!l0lsgot so many of the prom stuff.anyhow..school had some thank giving session.it was more like singing of christmas carols.well..mrs tan was forever boring but the choir was good though.l0ls.i'm quitting work next week.not sure if i'm happy anot.even if i'm happy is for the change of environment.unhappy is that i will hvae to stay home to rot till people dates me.so you peep out there better start dating me ah and spice up my life.l0ls.anyhow...going sentosa with the class tomorrow,erm..actually later.l0ls.den will be meeting phanida at vivo city to shop and check out the place.l0ls.who wans to swim with me on sat?date me/call me.l0ves..nights to all peeps!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006 @8:53 AM

RAIN,RAIN & RAIN!
L0LS...it's raining today.well..i guess rain brings abt the change in mood.maybe not for you but maybe for me.it really allow me to calm my mind and think abt wad has really been happening to me.perhaps..this type of thinking only happens at night when i cant sleep.when i really start to ponder abt every little single thing.and i donno.whenever this happen i get so emo.and tears jus start to fall out of my eyes which led me to sleep.well..i guess i don want this to happen to me all the time.

anyhow...have been watching princess hour and going to the end already.its lyke the last episode.l0ls.its jus so nice jus so emo and jus so good mann.dat i cried at every part.and i never like my parents seeing my emo part.cos they will jus laugh.anyways..i like it.l0ls.i liked the dressings too.and esp the heels.its so damn nice lah.but i doubt i will be able to afford it and fit into one.cos my feet is so broad.so hard for me to find heels.anyhow..like now i got the money too..

today..i guess was a bad day.first:it was my name tag.i forgot to bring again!and i had to buy the really huge tag for 2 bucks.like wad the hell!spent my money on such stupid thing.secondly:spot check.i was like oh okay.hopefully i don get caught for my skirt.cos my 2 long uniform was washing so i got no choice.but anyways..ms shen din said anything abt it.so yeah.as we had the inter-house com today.and i was suppose to help louisa lim to find people.so i went over to her class there to talk to her.the min,mrs tay said the 2 girls that is behind the prefect wadever the name is,come up now.i was like:wad the?so while i was walking,my whole face turn tomato.l0ls.anyhow.joyce,fifi and phanida was like laughing at me when i was up there lah.they were like saying i was giving this weird expression and stuff.l0ls.there were like so many people lah.anyways..it was all shit nonsense lah.den we were told to go to the office to write down our offences and i was like i donno wad my offences are.l0ls.den the prefect was like aiya jus anyhow write like you got short skirt which was not really and long nails which the teacher said it was alright.it was like.i'm always the guai wan lor.l0ls.den the next thing was SS class:i din do the observation thing lah.but i still tried to argue wid lee.said that i tot we were suppose to picture it and not write it.anyways.ya lah.din really bother.so was asked to stand outside the class.and he gave a long lecture before he goes on with the class inside.well..it was quite a number so yeah.and the lesson was like 3 period lah.l0ls.spent the whole time outside talking abt other stuff.l0ls.fun.den after class..he gave a long lecture again.den we nly had like abt 5-7 mins of recess.its lyke damn pathetic lah.l0ls.anyhow was late for chinese.but they don really care lah.i'm good at excuses.i guess.but i don tink thats a good point.l0ls.chinese was boring as usual.so after that was chem..chan wasnt in school.so we get to do our own stuff.so i decided to sew,its been days since i last sew.l0ls.anyways..was sewing and listening to my phone.den belinda came running into the class that there were gonna be a fire dril.l0ls.we were all like laughing.hee..my class is a fun class man.anyways..it turn out to be the sound of out of gas that type.don really know ow to describe.l0ls.and we were all like laughing.l0ls.some toxic thing and we had to seal up the whole classroom.l0ls.and that lights and fan must be turned off.well..at first some din wish t do anything and let the others do it.but in the end the class got together and did as fast as we all could.well..as for me,i was tping the door.and when it was done,i went to offer myself by taping the top window.which was really high.it was like a chair on top of a table.and the thing was it was shaky.and i was afrid of heights.my hands and legs were like trembling lah.l0ls.anyways..after which.i went back to my place.and i couldnt find my needle.it was like..in total darkness and imagine all the garbage bag is black somemore.i couldnt find it anyways.so yeah.next was the stupid briefing lah.l0ls.den was the SURPRISE TEST!l0ls.cos we din do our observation.l0ls.we literally copied the text.and left next.

so i headed down to serene again.cos i got work later.no choice.it was raining.fifi got her ang bao money.so she said she was gonna take cab.so i took the ride with bay.l0ls.lovess..i was totally broke.l0ls.anyways...met this guy at island.it was ben and jeric's friend.and he freaks me out like totally.and ah na..i'm scared.alright.headed down to work and the trip was like 7.90?!!not worthy man.but no choice, it was raining.anyways..headed home after that.gonna have supper with flo and gang at prata house after work.yeah man!haha..and to sentosa on friday!hee...and to vivo city i guess.i'm not sure if i wanna work that day.l0ls.anyways..its been fixed that i gonna go for a swim tis sat.l0ls.den i also donno where to head to.but well..definitely for my class and later to party!hee.....

your heart i guess..its too hurt for me to enter and that y love may not be enough.and its rather true that we are totally not compatible at all..thus i gonna move on with life.and lead my life.and to all my friends again.if you think in your opionion that i'm addicted den be it.cos i believe i wont know wad lies in front of me.wad will ever happen tomorrow.will it rain or shine.thus i don wanna live in regrets.thus i guess while i can i will..

colour combi not that good.anyways..nights to all you peeps!l0ves..


Sunday, October 22, 2006 @9:30 AM

MANN...I WANTED TO GO SO MUCH YESTERDAY LAH!IS LYKE TIX WERE AT SUCH A CHEAP PRICE AND I DON HAPPEN TO HAVE MY CLASS!MANN..BUT MUM DIDNT ALLOW.AND MANN...ONE WAS THERE LAH.AND I MISS IT LAH.MANN...I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH.MUM..PLS.I;M NOT SO INNOCENT LAH.I'M OF OFFICIALLY AGE ALREADY!ARGHHH!!!anyways...spent my whole time sleeping so much and watching princess hour.gosh...somehow it really makes me dream alot.and i couldnt sleep last night.have been thinking alot.
well..as for today...spent my time at work.den went to bbt during lunch break.had katina fair.woah..its been a real fast 1 year.i remembered clearly i was still holding on to you.as for now...i jus wish you the best.grow up grandson.do update me.den went to phanida;s place later on.and really had a good catching up.its been a real good time since i last talked to her.but that period of time wasnt as long.cos i had work again.well..cos her aunty dor came so she brought some clothes and we were like trying the hell lot of it.and were talking abt prom and stuff.GOODNESS!it was sure girlie stuff.l0ls.anyways...jus found out from mum that the chalet that i have always tot it was wasnt wad it is.i'm not sure if it is as big.but well...that's the only thing i could hope for then!yupps.going with deanna,joy and sarah to town.yupps.it sure has been a long time since i really walked town.so i guess i gonna take a real good look of it.but i'm afraid i will be tempted.cos stuffs are jus so nice but you're broke.so wad's the deal?jus have to watch and see without owning it.l0ls.goona go down to chec to collect the money.den going for work again.SIAN!but i guess work is like that.anyways..its gonna be over soon in nov.cos dec is my play month.yupps!
1-5 dec:my birthday chalet!hee..
2 dec :the party
3 dec: a fun day
4 dec: MY BIRTHDAY!HEE...(gonna go partyDXO with the girls!hee...can stay over at my chalet)
5 dec:pack up and night out again to MOS!

yupps...the first week is already full of fun!

6-7 dec:rest and pack lugguage
8-12 dec:BANGKOK!!!
13-14 dec:rest from trip.
15-19 dec:waiting for the very moment.and i am very afraid!
20-23 dec:get into the mood of xmas!
24-25dec:it's XMAS![PRESENTS..I LIKE]HEE..
26-31 DEC:PREPARE FOR SCHOOL!

and once again a new year!woah..time really flies.december is plan and not nov.l0ls.anyways..i'll be occupied with work so i guess life gonna be bring so yeah.till then...
L0VE TO ALL PEEPS!NIGHTS!

Thursday, October 19, 2006 @9:03 AM

she sucks man!she sits at the cashier doing all the bills.and i have to clear all the plates and wash all the cups up.cleaning all the tables with the smelly cloth.the boss haven even ask me to go home..you are already chasing me home.why ah?cos today's tips alot rite?so you don have to share with me again rite.sorry..i'm not so dumb kay.and stop acting alright.you are so fake.you totally suck man!so wad if the lady can speak malay?wow..so big deal!!!i may be 16 but pls stop fakin and bullying me.you are like 20 years older than me and got 6 kids already!

was busy at the restraunt today.it was like so quiet yesterday and today is like so many poeple.only had 1 table lah yesterday.goodness!anyways...learnt something from JOY today!
BORN CHINESE;LEARN CHINESE!
l0ls.joy...you're so cute.l0ve chinese yar?or else i'll act as ms swan again with the tic tock tic tock sound to irritate you.l0ls.hey ah na...if possible.pls make it to my party ya?i will wan you to be there.alright?but i don wan the mask to be there.i'll jus scream and freak out!l0ls.anyways...jus wanna tell you that he cares alot for you and loves you alot.alright?he really thinks alot abt you and is worried abt you!if anything..do tell him yar?L0VES...

BIO LESSON:learn abt some pupil thing that is in your eyes.but the topic was rather dry so i was very sleepy.and saw many heads down sleeping in class so i decided to sleep for a while.l0ls.
CHINESE LESSON:had some compre to do.but werent bothered at all.so yah.played throughout.and louisa showed a videoclip abt she alex and jimin.that was really sweet.and another videoclip with paul and her.it really saddens when she cried with the picture taken and together with the song,it was really touching.all i can say is that l0ve is indeed great.it is just so powerful.the feeling is so uncontrollable.its hard but you will definitely have to let it go pass and not let it affect you!
SS LESSON:lee was late for lesson.and nisha and laveena just love to prank the class and that lee was coming.the whole class panicked.but only phanida didnt.she was like how can you believe them?and i jus started laughing.BANG!in your face.l0ls.it was sure hilarious.

went to serene after school again!was colouring the colouring book.and was joining the dots.it may be childish but you look at it, you will really wanna do it too.its like back to old times man.l0ls.it was sure funny when i irritate deanna today.actually..not really irritated lah but was like accidentally hit her den i will apologise 3 times: sorry sorry sorry!and did that continuously abt 4 times i guess.and she was sure irritated.HAHA!but she did the same back to me which was sure irritating!she did like so many times on purpose and joy and amanda b was like laughing so much.den next hilarious thing was the primary 1 xhi text which got the yao ah yao.yao dao wai po jao.okay i tink i didnt get the han yu pin yin rite but who cares.anyways..i rmbed clearly so i said and joy tot was like yao ah yao.yao dao wai po jao.wai po song wo han bao bao.goodness.HAMBURGER!laughed till i ran to the toilet.l0ls.

anyways...today was quite alright for me jus that hair was really bad that i had to keep going to the loo to check on my hair and redo it.it jus don stays in place.you cant blame me for being vain.which women not vain?you tell me?anyways..gonna blog to here.

to all my friends:i really love you all so much till the deepest of my core!and i want your to remember it and put it in your heart!!!L0VES!!!thanks debbie.<3

Wednesday, October 18, 2006 @8:57 AM

i seriously do not know!am i happy or not?i'm suppose to be thou as Ns is over.but the feeling is not right at all.cos i felt that it wasnt my best for my english.i knew i could do better if i didnt fall asleep.i seriously hate myself for that.i know i should stop thinking abt it but i cant help it when ms poh asked this in class:who feels that you will be back next year?i knew i was not confident abt it at all.

why do things always happen like that?why people jus like to pass message they heard to others and assume that way?i'm not alright.i'm seriously affected abt by all this comments like that alright?cos i don like it.i know it was to let me know but i really don like it.and when i'm affcted its cos i really treasure you as my friend.i have always treasure everyone that's around me.all the love ones.but somehow they jus donno and start hurting me.do i really deserve all this?i donno why.but i really got very sadden everytime i think abt it.i'm not happy alright.i know i should be counted very blessed already.i should be counting my blessings.but i am really upset abt it.but sometimes..i jus hold back.i don wan anyone of you to be affected.who really knows?i really donno.everyone's life is different.everyone has got their individual problems.sometimes..you will ask your friend to try living in your world,sometimes,its good but sometimes its bad.in everyhing,there's always good and bad.i really wish there will be someone standing in my point of perspective to think.who actually is the guardian angel of mine?sometimes i really wonder how does it really felt like!

HELP!!!i'm screaming...can anyone hear me?probably be running away from me.being loud isnt my fault.anyways...this isnt a very nice post though.but jus felt that i wanna write it out.it helps better.so much.or else everything will be in the bottle of my heart till it accumulates to it's brim.i can no longer take it till i really break down and cry.and i really hate it.i don like seeing myself crying in front of people.i feel so embarassing.but somehow,even a little thing i can cry till so badly.my eyes jus cant hold back its tear.and after that thinking abt all the things that happened.i really donno!

TO MS SHEN:REALLY THANKS FOR THAT DAY!IT HELPS ALOT BUT STILL, ITS HARD FOR ME!
AND TO ALL MY FRIENDS:I'M TOTALLY NOT ADDICTED TO CLUBBING ALRIGHT!JUS A LET DOWN PARTY FOR ME!SO STOP WADEVER YOU'RE THINK!YAR?

Tuesday, October 17, 2006 @12:46 AM

l0ls.it's my first entry.COOLNESS.i always think that having a blog was kinda of stupid and there was no privacy.but recently,have been reading my friend's blog.and felt it may be kinda of fun.at least the next time i on my com,i got something to look forward to do and have fun abt it.cos its always friendster,mails, shopping online, reading other people's blog or msn.it can really bored.l0ls.the hols have started.and its kinda of bored.though i'm working.but it wont be as fun as studying.i swear.i really miss the times that i studied with my friends.now that we don even meet and i cant though.due to work.but we'll be meeting tomorrow.for headstart.l0ls.gonna meet again.was telling deanna and joy how much i miss going serene.and i was named the serene 'kid'.l0ls.thanks joy.kinda of planning my birthday party right now.l0ls.planning to make invitation and stuff.planning wad food to get wad games i should have too.yupps.hey...if anyone i know,you're invited yar?its on the 2nd dec 2006.hee..its my 16th birtthday.i'm so EXCITED!!!!hee..its at aloha loyang chalet.let me know if you're coming!

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